teachwatts: To Anyone Who Hates Facebook

I can't tell you the amount of countless conversations I have heard about the uselessness of Facebook. As someone who has a passion for technology and social media, it is hard to hear these conversations take place and not chime in. Today I am. Facebook brings people together and helps keep people together. As an educator living overseas and the wife of someone in the foreign service, we move a lot. In general, we move every 3 years to a new country. We start back at square one with friends, colleagues, and a new home. What we don't start new with is our network of friends. I now have friends in countries I honestly couldn't have found on a map only a few years ago.

This week, I have seen that network come together in a way that makes me cry every time I think about it. A good friend of mine has cancer. She is young. She is vivacious. She has a spirit that fills a room and makes you happy to be alive. She lives every moment to its fullest and she makes us all smile. Her love for life is simply amazing. She continues to inspire me. When her condition worsened this week, her friends from all different corners of the earth began writing to her on Facebook. Her friends have posted pictures and videos to inspire her. And her amazing husband has read every single one of our thoughts and prayers to her. We are all coming together to help her fight her battle with cancer. Years ago (before Facebook), I would have never known she had cancer. I may have received an email from a mutual friend. I may have received an occasional update. We easily could have lost touch. Facebook has changed that. My network of friends have banded together to constantly update one another and share our stories, pictures and moments with this wonderful woman and right now, it is working. I just received word that she is being moved out the the ICU unit. I don't know what the future holds for my dear friend, but I know she is in every one of our thoughts and prayers.

Thank you Facebook. Thank you for bringing us together and helping my friend. I believe in miracles. You are helping this one come true and it is simply the best Mother's Day present I could ever hope for. Thank you. And to all those naysayers out there, sorry, but there is nothing useless about this network. This is not a waste of my time. As we move further and further into this digital age, nothing matters more than the relationships we have with others. Facebook is far from useless in my life. It is helping to change peoples' lives. Facebook rocks!

6 comments:

MaryBellone@gmail.com, May 8, 2011 10:26 AM: Thanks for sharing this Dana....the power it has is pretty amazing!
Dana S. Watts, May 8, 2011 2:51 PM: The power of our network of friends is even more amazing. I feel so fortunate to be a part of this amazing community.
Tim Pettine, May 8, 2011 4:45 PM: Amen Dana. We share the same friend and FB has been a powerful tool for my wife in 'being there' for her friend. Another friend who is very.sick, after reading the 90+ positive messages posted on his FB page wrote that he didn't know people cared. Never understatement the power of a positive thoughtful message. More than that, make opportunities to tell our friends and families how much they mean to us. Happy Mothers Day
Dana S. Watts, May 8, 2011 5:03 PM: I agree Tim, the more we move into the digital age, the more our relationships matter. They can grow in ways I am just beginning to see and understand. Here we are connecting through a friend and a shared experience through FB. A positive thoughtful message, an opportunity to tell others how much they mean to us, FB provides that for more of us each day. Like your friend, we inherently need to know that someone cares. I'm glad he knows that now, and I hope our shared friend continues to feel all our love from around the world. She is in my heart this Mother's Day.
Pat, May 9, 2011 5:56 AM: It seems the only people who don't have a strong opinion about Facebook are those who still don't know what Facebook is (yes, these people still exist). People either love it or hate it, but those who don't like it may have different reasons.

My most compelling objection to Facebook is not that it is useless. Just like you describe it, I find Facebook extremely enticing. The power it has to bring people together is unprecedented, and the social good it has done cannot be ignored. My problem is also not that "kids spend too much time on Facebook". Just like the TV 15 years ago, the problem is not with the technology but with the support adults give their kids to using it properly. Finally, my problem is not even that Mr. Z is making an insane amount of money doing what seems like very little work. Whatever, it's like hockey; the economy seems to support it.

My problem is this: the new freedom Facebook seems to give people is in fact controlled by a very select group of people that can take it away in no time. Compare this to email: if Gmail shutdown tomorrow, it would be very annoying and disruptive, but the email system wouldn't collapse because it's not centralized. Heck, if Google shutdown entirely the Internet would still continue to work. But if Facebook decides to change its security settings in some drastic ways, no one could do anything about it. There are alternatives to Facebook (like https://joindiaspora.com) that are built from the ground up with user freedom as the primary goal. Unfortunately, the value of a social system goes up as the square of the number of people using it, and Facebook is just way ahead (but not better).

As parents, teachers, and mentors to our kids, I think it is our responsibility to judge new technology not in terms of the short term benefits that it can give us, but on the principles that underlie its design. We can do much better than Facebook and still have the same benefits (and more).

Twitter and Identi.ca: @ptruchon
michaeledits, May 9, 2011 10:29 AM: When they say "I hate Facebook," I think they mean "I hate how much time I waste on Facebook." The answer is, don't do the wasteful stuff. Do the other stuff. Facebook's cool.