The Drama of Girls

No matter how hard I try to teach young girls to be confident, healthy people, I am constantly amazed how things never change.  This week at school, I watched two lovely girls get pulled into a drama that was completely manipulated by outside forces.  Why do mean girls exist?  How do they constantly seem to have power in every school, every country I have taught in?  Why do we, as a society, let them rise to power?  I don't see the same issues with men.  Maybe that explains the inner tomboy within myself, but seriously, boys don't gossip. They don't whisper.  They say what they think to your face and move on.  The drama of women has always bothered me.  I know I will receive some backlash for that one. . . , but I hate conflict and the older I get, the more I try to avoid it.  Does this avoidance come from inner peace and confidence within ourselves?  Why can't I figure out how to teach this to young women?  I try every day, believe me I try, but I can't seem to figure it out.

When boys aren't confident, they act goofy.  Their adrenaline pours out of them and they become silent or boisterous.  When girls aren't confident, we find the weakest link and attack - we move our insecurity onto someone even less confident so we feel better about ourselves.  WHY?  Where do we learn that if I talk about how fat or skinny someone else is, it will take the focus off of me?  I just don't get it.  I don't think I ever got it in middle school because I was the lowest man on the totem pole.  I didn't get it in high school because they finally stopped talking about me and moved on to someone else.  I was so happy to finally have friends, I didn't want to talk about anyone else.  All I wanted was to get to know everything about my new friends and share stories from my life with them.

When I am with new friends now, we talk about ideas, places, food, and shared common interests.  I love meeting people that can teach me something new.  I stay away from the drama queens who stir up trouble.  How do I teach girls to do the same?  How will I teach my own daughter how to avoid the mean girls?  How do I teach young women to help one another rise to greatness without stomping on others?  My daughter is only 6 and I already see the toxic girls that feed on that negative energy.  I don't have any answers, but I am all ears if anyone has a way we can stop it.  We need to celebrate one another and help other women rise, not tear them down.   Help me figure out a way to make this happen.